Trouble in paradise

Trouble in paradise

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It must nearly be time to come home, I’ve run out of tea bags which the empire was built on. With the speed of the post it would be quicker to replenish stocks back in England. Last time i went travelling there where three things i missed most, a proper cup of tea, cotton ear buds and a bath. I bought two out of the three with me, i have found the odd bath, in fact Ed and Kate Cox let me have a bath in their on suite, and the bath was as large as Hugh Hefner’s hot tub but sadly empty of talented young ladies. I also tried to have one in a hotel but it was rather like a large be day, I’m sure why they build them, unless its an Australian thing to conserve water.
Today i woke to find my face lying beside me on the pillow, I’ve gone from the red Botox look to peeling skin rather like a leper. I still have two days to re burn so i will look tanned when i return to the cold of England, hopefully Fiona will meet me with my set of long johns as I’m going to have a temperature shock. I weighed myself today and i hope there’s a Nuffield prize for gaining the must weight, I’m optimistic that Ive won, it read 98.7 kg, I’m not sure what that is in imperial but judging by my trousers it frightening. With Christmas ahead and all the goodies I’m unlikely to see this drop. They Say ‘Nuffield changes your Life’, i put forward the motion that ‘Nuffield changes your Body’.

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One Response

  1. Caroline
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    Very amusing post. I thought I was a loser for getting so excited by the tea shop in Melbourne, but you win by bringing your own tea bags đŸ™‚

    It shows what a life of sitting in an office does to you – I’ve actually lost weight on this trip. Maybe I should come and work for you on my return and keep up my more active lifestyle!

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